Dear Pastor Gullible:
The woman in your church who is flattering you and making herself available to you is after your wife. I have heard of the woman who was angered or hurt by the pastor’s wife and vowed to return the hurt by going after the woman’s husband, the pastor. The man’s ego is so easily stroked he thinks it’s all about him, when in actuality, this woman is not giving you a second thought. Her mind is on the outcome, the day when she sees the look on your wife’s face when her plans to lead you into her defiled bedroom succeeds.
But you, dear pastor, believe -even begin to feed on--the words of this other woman.
To the First Lady
Meanwhile she is accomplishing her lesson-- you will learn to be kind and pleasant to the women in the church or one of them will eventually stand (and lay) in your place. This woman’s presumed needs for prayer and counseling, her needs for the extra time in the pastor’s office, the need to exchange cell phone numbers and eventually the need to meet outside of the realms of the church are all scaffolds to a long, hard fall. While the fall will be felt by both the woman and the pastor, its impact will be felt more severely by the pastor, due to his calling and station.
To the Pastor
The attempt of this woman to “get back” at your wife, Mr. Pastor, effects your family, your peace of mind, the respect you earned from fellow clergy, parishioners, community leaders, financiers, young men you mentored, and others, your mental stability/peace of mind, your finances (due to a decline in membership and giving), your failed accountability to God and yourself, and the potential loss of the spiritual hedge of protection God affords you.
There is a lesson here for all three: to the wife it serves no real purpose to have your physical guard up when you lack discernment and the wisdom to erect a spiritual guard around your marriage. Your role, among many things, is to show love to all. When you allow God’s wisdom and discernment to guide you, He will show you signs and warnings to not only deal with real threats to your marriage and/or the church, but to also know how and what to pray to help this young woman.
To the other woman: If you are hurt by the seemingly more spiritually mature first lady of the church, go to her privately. If this fails, then sadly, it proves that either one or both of you is still babes in the faith.
You have a few choices. Seek out the Mothers in the church, schedule an appointment with the pastor to make him aware of your hurt, dismiss this negative encounter with the pastor’s wife and focus on worship and service (and fellowship with others, or choose another church home. As for the pastor: It would benefit you to read the book The Pastor's Fall.
The thing is, I'm still writing it. What we Christians tend to lose sight of from time to time is what the Church is for. We can either contribute to, invite, or stand by and allow the enemy to advance his hellish gates to prevail against the Church, or we can stay focused on God’s word, His plan, and His purpose to advance his kingdom on earth. Let’s stay focused on what we –the church- are here for.